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    Bern
    I take full responsibility for submitting numerous humourless postings.

    Ricky Hatton is fighting tonight might I suggest that Sue tunes in to see if she can pick up any moves and tips in time for the Annual River Best Custard Pie Competition which follows the Christmas bi-annual mud-slinging contest due to take place at Whitfield.

    I regret that the 'throwing the dolls out of pram' event has had to be cancelled after we received numerous complaints from the Dolls Hospital.

    Entertainment will be provided by Graham Tumberland and his support band "The Gullibles".Guest Appearance by Gloria Dunenough.Her fee to be met from the selling off of Pencester Gardens.Asda will be unable to provide refreshments until the completion of their complex in 2015.

    The Party afterwards to be held on the top floor of Burlington House which apparently has the best view of Dover...as you are unable to see Burlington House from the Penthouse.

    Tickets Half a Crown concessions available.All proceeds towards the Save Vic Matcham Scarecrow Appeal.

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