Happy April Fools Day

• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  1 April 2009     06:5218738
  #1       report
  Stop Press@
  
  Vic Matcham to emigrate to Australia.
  
  Sue Nicholas does a U turn and votes in favour of the installation of a large TV screen in Market Sq."I want to watch the same movies as Jacqui Smith but on a big screen" she said from her luxury villa in River.
  
  Nigel Coller to leave the DDC. "It was getting in the way of my day job" he was quoted as saying." Yes I found that my liquid lunches at Blakes were having to be cut short to just 12 -3pm which was just not enough time for me to sample all the real ales on show and finish my bacon buttie" he added.
  
  Roger Walkden teams up with Richard Digance for a night of comedy at the town hall.Please note that this performance will follow the daily comedy routine thats put on on a daily basis by our elected councillors.Do not confuse the two shows!
  
  Ian the Croc to adopt a gaggle of geese.
  
  And finally the biggest joke of all "...DTIZ work to start soon..." SEEDA are quoted as saying this morning...ha bloody ha..!
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
• Guest 640

  • Registered: 21 Apr 2007
  • Posts: 7,819
  1 April 2009     07:1118741
  #2       report
  
  
  Ah jeeez all very good Marek. Ah Im particularly interested in the DTIZ one as I can tell you, cross my heart, I saw two Oirish paddies with shovels out there this morning digging the first hole.
  
  "what are yer doing" sez I, while out walking the wolfhound.
  
  "We're putting in the first foundation stone for the Asda shop so we are!"
  
  "The ground looks nice and soft" sez I feeling uplifted
  
  "Ah we know" sez them "we pour lots of Guinness on it first to soften it up!"
  
  I saw a gaggle of geese flying overhead as this conversation was taking place but I dont know if they were the geese belonging to water wading Ian or not, they could have been though.. out on an early morning sabatical.
  email: dover7@msn.com
  • Asda
• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  1 April 2009     07:2318743
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  I remember in my youth whilst working nights we invented a French Passenger called Jacque D'Poisson.We made up a file, filled in the details and false interview notes and then marked the file to show that the passenger had been detained and placed in DHB Police Stn awaiting further examination.The file was then put in the office ready for the office man to re-interview and reach a decision as to whether the Frenchman should be refused or granted entry.Just image the poor office lads face when the following morning he traipsed to the police station only to find no Mr D'Poissin.
  
  What followed was less of a joke and our humour wasn't shared by the Inspector and DHB Police who spent most of the day arguing as to who was responsible for this poor 'mans' disappearance. It was well worth the bollocking we all duly received,
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
• Guest 673

  • Registered: 16 Jun 2008
  • Posts: 1,388
  1 April 2009     07:4318747
  #4       report
  Ecotricity have applied to install the wind turbines from the rejected Dover Wind Farm project on top of the giant redundant structures in the stalled DTIZ. Burlington House, the multi-storey carpark and MFI are ideal platforms to enable harnessing the wind to save the planet.
  
  Predictably, Nimbyism has raised its ugly head and DTIZ supporters are rising up to resist this essential and farsighted green measure with the formation of a new pressure group:
  
  NIMITZ - Not In My Investment Town Zone.
• Brian Dixon

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 23,940
  1 April 2009     07:5018750
  #5       report
  dhb have anouced plans to fill in the harbour and to change it to a lorry park.
• Terrismark

  • Location: Dover
  2 April 2009     01:4218780
  #6       report
  I did have to have a laugh at the Aprils Fool on Radio 1 this morning, April Fuels Day - 1/2 price available fuel in particapting forecourts, people had to phone in and get the address as they were not allowed to give details because of advertising.
  
  How many people knew it was an April Fool - How many people were gullible to phone and ask for details (which were put on air). So Comical.
  
  Didn't hear many more on the media line after 8am......
• Guest 650

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 542
  2 April 2009     10:1118793
  #7       report
  One that really made me laugh a couple of years ago was the apprentice gardener at a most prestigious pile. The gardens, naturally, were immaculate, the lawns not only mown in strips, but chequerboard.
  
  The inhabitants and staff opened their curtains on the morning of April 1st to find trails of molehills all across the lawns.
  
  The gardener had spent weeks before, making imitation ones ...
  
  Up here, yesterday, the joke was that we are going to outdo the white horse artwork planned for north Kent. We've going to have a much-bigger concrete cow with a viewing gallery in its eyes to survey the new city, and in the glass udder a cafe-bar, serving, amongst other things, specialty milk shakes ... I understand the founder's name for this bid is Paul D' Otherwon ... or even Paul D'Udderun ...
  The Dover War Memorial Project
  www.doverwarmemorialproject.org.uk
• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  2 April 2009     10:1418795
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  like it
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)