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  I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, bragging about his highly paid job and his expensive sports car.
  
  Then he showed me a picture of his wife on his phone and said to me, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
  
  I replied, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend.”
  
  He asked, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”

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