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    Not wanting to be a curmudgeon, nor be accused of poo-pooing quaint, harmless thrills, but surely this 'event' shouldn't be the highlight of my hometown's cultural calendar?

    My friends and I used to do paper-boat racing and poo-sticks in Russell Gardens and Kearsney Abbey when I was a kid, but I believe we gave that up around the same time the Bay City Rollers had their last number one. You remember: that being around the same time that Dover still had the semblance of a properly functioning town centre.

    Have fun!

    Andy

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