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  Thanks Bern, and I quite agree with you about rugby. As a younger man I played rugby to a very high standard and was being trialled in the England squad when a scrummage collapsed on me, ending my playing career at a stroke on Doctor's orders.
  
  Howard, I take your point about Beckham - what a stay at home hero he is after all; how wrong can a man be? As for patriotism, thank you for patronising me over this. I'm a proud and patriotic Englishman through and through and will be cheering England on in the 6 Nations this weekend, in the World Cup in the summer and in the Ashes series at the back end of the year. My support for our national team crosses the threshold of football, you see, I'm not just one who hides behind the flag of St George singing Land of Hope And Glory whenever that tattooed cretin with an IQ lower than my cat dons the shirt. Being a patriot doesn't mean going all gooey eyed whenever the England football are about to enter a tournament - in fact I find the footballing hordes draped in the flag swilling lager until they drown quite offensive. Their behaviour brings shame on the beautiful game and their country in equal proportion; to suggest that my failure to endorse all that garbage renders me unpatriotic is, quite frankly, about as offensive as it comes without recourse to swearing.

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