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    Holy spokes! It seems the pope will be coming to Britain brandishing a pair of keys. Will he try to take Dover Castle and hoist a flag with two keys on it? Or are these keys attached to a ring hanging at his hip? Do they fit in any door in Dover's Castle? If they don't, then he can't claim to have taken the Castle, and will be repulsed! In which case he will go back to Rome with his keys, and the Union Jack will remain flying over Britannia's Castle, overlooking Britannia's Royal Port! Britannia Our Fair Lady!

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