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    On holiday in Madeira, Hazel and me went to a fabulous restaurant in a cave, in the middle of the island. As we were beginning our meal the guy on the next table commented "all the caves we've got in Dover and not one restaurant in any of 'em".

    Didn't introduce ourselves as we wanted a quiet romantic meal for two, and sharing it with a bunch of folks from the town we'd just escaped from wasn't our idea of fun.

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