Act one: scene one..clipped english only.
"I say Basil! whats that up ahead?"
"Well it looks like a shoal of herring captain"
"Herring Basil?"
"Yes herring Captain."
"It looks rather large to be herring Basil, Im thinking larger fish, perhaps Mackeral."
You could be right Sir..mackeral, yes mackeral"
With that a loud bang is heard.
"Oh bugger Basil youve hit a frog"
"But sir you told me it was mackeral.
"No I didnt Basil , it was you who distinctly said it was mackeral"
"well no sir I said...."
"Dont argue with your captain Basil"
Well no sir...but...(pause) you said it was mackeral(under breath)
Take a memo to the Prime Minister Basil...
Dear Prime Minister Brown
I know you are up to your eyewatering eyeballs with a load of bankers at the moment, but just to make your day complete, I must inform you that we have just hit a french nuclear submarine...and yes we are out in the middle of the vast atlantic..but there's more traffic out here than Sainsbury's carpark on a saturday afternoon. Yes its true between us we have more firepower than 1238 Hiroshima bombs. The good news is that we have not exploded! The bad news is that we have a ticking noise coming from the bomb deck!
