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    Courtesy of Mook News.



    Boris Johnson has identified the reserving of sunloungers as a top priority in Brexit negotiations, it has been announced.

    With Theresa May set to trigger Article 50 within six weeks, the Foreign Secretary attention is now focusing on the terms of Britain exiting the EU.

    Under the Sunbathers’ Rights Regulations, Germany currently has a right to reserve up to 40% of sunloungers in any European resort, the UK second with up to 15% and Luxembourg being last in the EU with a paltry 0.1%.

    “The Germans have been putting their towels on prime sunloungers for too long,” said Johnson.

    “We won’t stand by and give up our sunbathing rights.”

    Angela Merkel commented that she felt that Johnson was overstating the issue.

    “I’m not sure if Boris has ever seen the sun, so he is hardly the right person to be dealing with this point.”

    Meanwhile, Nigel Farage was reportedly leading a group of pasty holidaymakers from Newcastle and Glasgow to protest in Brussels.

    “Spanish sunloungers for British people!” exclaimed the former UKIP leader.

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