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A good and thought-provoking posting Gary - and I am sorry that you got "shafted" the last time your wife was assessed.
I don't understand why she needs to be reassessed every so often, if her condition isn't going to improve, it seems really pointless and unethical.
Jean, my other half, always looks as if there's nothing wrong with her when we go out, but it has always taken a real struggle to look the way she does; she is registererd disabled but doesn't want to look it.
Sometimes if she feels kind of O.K. she will struggle down and up the stairs at Blakes, but it really buggers her up, getting back up. Her kidney failure is debilitating anyway and now her heart isn't working very well, just a few steps wears her out, but, like your wife I'm sure, remains cheerful - as far as she can.
Good luck Gary.
Roger