Santa is "too fat and drinks too much"!
- 17 December 2009 08:5535009I heard a report on Radio FOUR this morning which said that Santa Claus makes a very poor role model not only for young people, but for all of us, because he is obese and drinks far too much. We cant be having fat guys appearing to be having a jolly old good time and even though they are fat.. they continue eating ever more mince pies.
On top of all that... this Santa Claus guy has a swift sherry in every house, so by the time he reaches No7 Acacia Ave he is piddled bigtime. You must remember as he leaves Acacia Ave he will still be driving that lethal sleigh thing with seven or eight unruly reindeer pulling it, with him himself out of control, his brain fried on cheap Spanish Oloroso. Oh the poor animals!
On top of that...if all that wasnt enough, he enters each house by covert means...slithering over the roof in a clandestine manner and slipping inside while people are sleeping. Why cant he ring the doorbell like everyone else? He's just a role model for Burglars clearly.
A UN resolution is needed. A move is now afoot to make sure that from now on all future Santas will be thin, will not drink, and will ride a bicycle while delivering every year....okay so why cant Santa's be thin...what have you got against thin people?
email: dover7@msn.com - 17 December 2009 09:4735013How long before Santa is banned?!
- 17 December 2009 11:3535019I must protest! Leave Santa alone, He is not fat , just a little on the large side so he can hold his drink
Happy Chrismas Santa 
- Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
17 December 2009 12:1835020mmmm rudolf steaks red wine,christmas pud custerd mince pies and cream,bring it on.must not forget the very large gin and tonic for the queens speach [anasthectic purposes only].
- 17 December 2009 12:3935022Ah .....FOOOOOOD......
Look, ever since I had to change from green to red because of Coke I have put on so much weight but still I am fiitter than Micheal Palin - after all he took ages to go around the world.
Happy Christmas everybody.
Dont forget the stockings ladies ( and gentlemen - if you wish...)
Santa - 17 December 2009 16:4835032I'm just wondering, if Santa has access to every house in the world with excited and expectant children all eagerly awaiting his arrival with wide-eyed anticipation, has he actually been CRB checked? It's only a matter of time until someone bans him if he hasn't...........True friends stab you in the front.
- 17 December 2009 18:4935050I am the most tolerant of people but even I am rolling my eyes in exasperation - and what set me off? The increasing intrusion of state into private lives. I am clearly concerned to protect children - of course I am - but this continual checking and double checking, paper-pushing and date-stamping of people is too much. It doesn't effectively protect people anyway - and even if and when deviants are caught they are not locked away. All that happens is more jobsworths get meaningless jobs, decent people are tainted by association or because of a meaningless mistake, and the real deviants and criminals carry on. Crims and deviants are, Duh!, devious and shady!!!!!
- 17 December 2009 21:3535070none of this has lessened my respect for santa.
looks are not everything anyway. - 17 December 2009 21:5935073I played santa in a local pre school a few days ago in folkestone and those of you that know me will know im slim, but the kids look at you in awe anyway not your build.
Santa is here to stay and you only have to be in that pre school to see the kids faces when i walked in to show santa aint going no where. - Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
17 December 2009 22:5735080didnt santa get the sack.
full of pressies. - 17 December 2009 23:1935087Whoever comes out with this type of crap is clearly a miserable soul and just wants everyone else to feel as miserable as they do. Santa is cool. So what if he's packing a few pounds, are we in a state of body fascism which elects that there is something wrong with being a bit portly? So he enjoys a drink or forty million, but you never see him puking into a gutter or picking fights with random blokes. Leave Santa alone!
- 18 December 2009 08:1635097I just wonder how many children come home from the magical day out of seeing Father Christmas and say mummy I want to be tubby just like Father Christmas.
At the Mill we have hundreds of children over the years turn up to see him arrive and then go into the fairy tale Grotto and I do not know of any children who have commented on the size of Father Christmas. They are far too wrapped up in the magic of it all.
I do know however of children who have told Father Christmas stories of what they do and get up to and in one case two years ago the child who came out with how she was being bullied at school. Her mum was gob smacked but the girl came out with it because she trusted in Father Christmas not because he was fat, tall, short or skinny.
These people who come out with this crap need to get a life and stop trying to spoil childhood.
Guess what the Tooth Fairy is next on the list, she gets children to pull their teeth out.
Come and see Father Chistmas (a little tubby) this Saturday from 3.15 pm or Sunday from 2pm afternoon at the MIll. - 18 December 2009 08:1835098Tubby is cool - a bit of extra padding lends a man gravitas........
- 19 December 2009 07:5835173I should have it by the bucket-load then - gravitas that is !
Roger - 19 December 2009 21:1435265I believe there is a Santa Claus. I saw him in Miracle on 47th Street.
. (Not the humbug remake).Tell them that I came, and no one answered. - 20 December 2009 08:2235273Never heard of 47th. Street, the one I know was 34th. Street Colin - it's on this afternoon (Sunday at 5.15 Channel 4) Great film, with Richard Attenborough.
Roger - 20 December 2009 08:2835275wots in a street lol
- 20 December 2009 08:3935279Santa Clause !!
Roger - 20 December 2009 08:4335281if you get the right street lol
- 20 December 2009 10:0835285It was the number I got wrong, not the street. No wonder I never used to get what I asked for.
Tell them that I came, and no one answered.