Guest 662- Registered: 18 Mar 2008
- Posts: 325
2 October 2009
07:1329638I dont actually recall saying anyone was defrauding the system!
However, if someone can walk through our town and make a sweeping statement about our single mothers then I think it is only fair that the same should be acceptable for someone walking through our town and seeing something entirely different.
I note that you did not ask for the same clarification Ross on the statement regarding our Single Mothers!
Sue Nicholas- Location: river
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 6,022
2 October 2009
08:5029650Bern I sincerely believe that standards have to be set and If it means imposing or trying to set my standards on others so be it .I still expect a man to open a door for me and fellow councillors will tell you i always wear a jacket at meetings .No matter how rushed i am appearance is very important .Correct speech is also high on the agenda .My children were never allowed to eat in the street .Its because left wing and wooly liberals believe in freesdom for all that we are in this dependance on the state .
I see all these so modern outlook people at council presentations trying to put the world to right but fall down on every day standards .
So Sheli you think my statement is sweeping .Funny how Dover seems to have an influx of young single mothers and it is generation after generation .I know having worked with many of these young girls so it is not a sweeping statement .
Im nt
talking about couples who live together and have raised a family and choose not to morry .This is the case in my own family however its their choice and not mine .
They have worked hard Mother stayed at home and no hand outs .
I agree with Ross how do you know these people Sheli with posh pushchairs are living on benefits .
Well i had better get ready for a meeting ,make up on and jacket worn and hopefully doors opened .
Guest 662- Registered: 18 Mar 2008
- Posts: 325
2 October 2009
09:4929653I cannot be bothered to argue with you Sue, you obviously dont know the same single mothers that I do and if you take a look at the road behind Brambley Hedge during working hours you will see what I mean.
Just because you wear a jacket and occasionally a hat doesnt make you a better person, your statement above just points out that you are unable to move with the times. Unfortunately time moves on and we must move with it and not expect everyone to applaud us for old fashioned statements.
I think you will also find that Dover is not the only town in the world that has alot of single mothers, my reference to a sweeping statement was about tarring all single mothers with the same brush and I am certain that those that you have worked with will be heartened and motivated if they now read what you are saying about them.
Ross Miller
- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 17 Sep 2008
- Posts: 3,698
2 October 2009
10:2129655Sheli apologies - you are right I missed that opportunity, but I believe the same questions hold true for all irrespective of ethnicity or country of origin.
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage" - Laozi
Sue Nicholas- Location: river
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 6,022
2 October 2009
10:4429659Of course wearing a jacket etc does not make me a better person .Sp please explain to me why we have so many Ferral families and the need ior Anti Social Behaviour units .Why so many young girls have to live in social housing ,why our streets are litterd why the norm is to swear .In my parents day these were not the norm .Standards and rules are for a reason .Im not at old fashioned .Why are you old fashioned because you believe in standards of behaviour.
Guest 662- Registered: 18 Mar 2008
- Posts: 325
2 October 2009
11:3229663Its called the Sign of the Times !
Sue Nicholas- Location: river
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 6,022
2 October 2009
11:3929665Well it doesnt have to be the sign of the times .Recently I was on the new bus service going from River into Town .Young Mothers got on at River school on their way home to St Radigunds Choice of school now its freedom .To cut the story short a little lad kept shouting and naturally full of high spirits The mother had a small child
in a pushchair we have all been there ,however he would not sit quitely so in the end i asked him to sit with me .I put my arms around him and i asked him about his school day and the shouting and restlesness stopped .He just needed to talk about his school day .Now that is not being old fashioned thats using common sense .No need to sit tuttting try and take the heat out of the situation .
Standards Sheli .
Mothers talk to your little ones .
Ross Miller- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 17 Sep 2008
- Posts: 3,698
2 October 2009
11:5829666Sue it is not old fashioned to believe in standards, however you make accusations without substantiation.
Littering can be addressed in a number of ways, one is for parents to teach standards of behaviour, another is to ensure there are enough wardens to fine people who litter thus putting out a message, another is to actively support residents when they tackle litterers - in fact all 3 should be done.
Perhaps there are so many young single mums because we as a society do little or nothing to dissuade them from becoming so. Perhaps if we got celebs to extol the virtues of education, made school cool, made a virtue out of rretaining ones virtue until one could afford to support a child etc. then maybe it wouldn't be cool for certain sections of society to get themselves in this position.
Finally, if we gave young people things to do, opportunities to learn and to earn, treated them like people not aliens or monsters, then just maybe they would behave the way we wanted them to.
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage" - Laozi
2 October 2009
13:5529668Way to go Ross!!!! Sue - having your own standards is great - I also have mine - but simply berating people for not sharing them is not achieving anything at all. Any Mother worth her salt knows that to engage children and occupy them is the best way to prevent and defuse bad behaviour. Actually, it is the same with anyone, not just children. But some of those sloppy mums you bad mouth have themselves had no real parental role modelling. to have a pop at them and sneer because they are not like you is hardly going to change things!!
Ross - thank you!!
Guest 660- Registered: 14 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,205
2 October 2009
17:1429685When I was at School I got free school dinners because my Dad left home when I was 11 and we were poor,we had to stand in a room and wait for all the School to walk by so that the whole school knew who were the poor ones.Then if I needed a new jacket I would have the Social Security turn up at the School and you would get a message in the class...John Goodwin the Social are here to buy you a new Jacket.... Yes I am from a single parent home and I brought my daughter up by myself for 4 years.The Chairman of Governers a County Cllr once said at a Governors meeting 'the problem is too many children are brought up by single parents some by men'.2 of the 3 parent Governers were men and bringing up children on thier own.
To bracket everyone together as single parents as if they are below everyone else is so bad,yes some single parents do let thier children down,so do 2 parents with children sometimes.The idea that these children will turn out like thier parents is also a load of hogwash.
My Mum worked most of the time,I started work with my Nan 50 years ago on the fields,I wasn't brilliant at School yet the best at History,I have worked for the Railway for 36 years,I ran one of the best football teams in Dover,I have been a Cllr for 8 years and now I am trying to put on shows in Dover...a complete failure then after all I was brought up with no Dad
If you knew what I know,we would both be in trouble!
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
2 October 2009
18:0129693good post john, at present single parents tend to get bracketed together and demonised.
the worst problem families that cause social misery tend to have an adult couple at the head of the household.
the word "standards" does not mean very much either, when i was a kid, women would whisper amongst themselves about a woman being "divorced".(horror of horrors)
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
3 October 2009
07:5629704We 're not really talking about decent standards, so much as we seem to be encouraging young girls to create a way of life for themselves that is not good for them, the children they have, or society in general.
We are saying it's O.K. not to go to work; it's O.K. to have as many kids as you like, as we -the State, will pay for them.
This next bit is a fact, not some political view, but when you have as many low-educated and low aspirational youngsters as we have in East Kent, this then is a great way for them to carry on, they get a home of their own, they get money and all the bills paid for.
No wonder it has become a way of life for so many.
If it wasn't all on offer, they simply couldn't/wouldn't do it; you can't, or rather shouldn't rely on the State to pay for all your children and your family bills.
I do appreciate that benefits are essential for some families and there's no disgrace in that as they are working as well as they can; those people are not being criticised at all.
Roger
Guest 662- Registered: 18 Mar 2008
- Posts: 325
3 October 2009
14:1129718I went into town today with my son, just me and him we had fun I bought him a sausage roll and let him eat it walking up the town then I sat outside a cafe and bought him a drink and horror of horrors I had a cigarette!
I wonder how many people thought I was a single mum setting a bad example to him!
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
3 October 2009
15:1029725Well Sheli, you terrible person you: there probably are people who would say that eating while walking in public is wrong and that you should be setting a better example of behaviour; glad to hear you sat down whilst drinking and smoking !!!
Roger
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
3 October 2009
18:0229746Sheli, sometimes when I go down the town with my girls, we buy some sausage rolls from Rooks, then happily eat them along the way, and then get some donuts from the donut van to have on the way back. Its just a bit of fun
JHG, a good story there, you've done your family proud. Well done to you
Guest 674- Registered: 25 Jun 2008
- Posts: 3,391
3 October 2009
18:1829748SUE
Your doing it again girl, you do so many things, so well, but this standards thing thsat roger has now joined you in, cannot be agreed with.
If we take equal rights that many women fought for, and thankfully have helped many women over the years, opening of doors takes that all backwards again.
I open doors for anyone cos imm that type of guy.
SUE
Although very difficult i was taught not to judge people by there appearance.
The wearing of jackets/hats means nothing, whats important is what you do
come on sue fight for the secret priory play area your goos sat that go get at them
Guest 674- Registered: 25 Jun 2008
- Posts: 3,391
3 October 2009
18:1829749SUE
Your doing it again girl, you do so many things, so well, but this standards thing thsat roger has now joined you in, cannot be agreed with.
If we take equal rights that many women fought for, and thankfully have helped many women over the years, opening of doors takes that all backwards again.
I open doors for anyone cos imm that type of guy.
SUE
Although very difficult i was taught not to judge people by there appearance.
The wearing of jackets/hats means nothing, whats important is what you do
come on sue fight for the secret priory play area your goos sat that go get at them
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
3 October 2009
19:5529761is their no end to this abysmal drop in public standards?
sausage rolls must be the thin end of the wedge.
before we know it, gentlemen will be out in public in open necked shirts.
Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
3 October 2009
20:2829767and eating bobbys hotdogs to boot.
3 October 2009
21:3629770Howard, I blame the rise in the popularity of flip flops..................